Should You Do a First Look? Pros & Cons From a Wedding Photographer

One of the questions that comes up ALL the time when we're planning a wedding-day timeline is:

Should we do a first look?

And my answer probably isn't very helpful at first:

It completely depends on you. 😂

As a wedding photographer, I love first looks for a lot of reasons. They can make your timeline easier, give us more time for photographs, and let you spend more of cocktail hour actually enjoying your wedding.

But I also completely understand wanting that traditional moment of seeing each other for the first time as you walk down the aisle.

There isn't a right or wrong answer.

So if you're trying to decide whether a first look belongs in your wedding day, let's talk about the pros, the cons, and what I see from behind the camera.

First—What Exactly Is a First Look?

A first look is a private moment before the ceremony when the couple sees each other for the first time.

Usually, I'll find a beautiful, relatively private area at your venue and get one person positioned first.

Then the other person walks up behind them, taps them on the shoulder, and we let the moment happen.

And when I say "let the moment happen," I mean it.

You don't need to immediately turn toward me.

You don't need to pose.

You don't need to wonder what you're supposed to do next.

Hug them. Kiss them. Cry. Laugh. Talk to each other.

Take a minute.

I'm there to photograph it—not rush you through it.

PRO: You Get a Few Minutes Alone Together

This is probably one of my favorite reasons to have a first look.

Wedding days are BUSY.

You're surrounded by bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents, grandparents, vendors, guests, and about 400 people asking where they're supposed to be. 😂

Then the ceremony happens.

Then family photos.

Then wedding-party photos.

Then cocktail hour.

Then introductions.

Then dinner.

Then speeches.

Then dancing.

Suddenly it's 10 PM and you're wondering where your entire wedding day went.

A first look gives you a little pocket of time where it's just the two of you.

Technically I'm there too—but I promise I'll try not to ruin it. 😂

For some couples, those quiet few minutes end up being one of their favorite parts of the day.

PRO: We Can Get A LOT of Photos Done Before the Ceremony

From a photography standpoint, this is the biggest advantage.

Once you've seen each other, we can usually do:

• Couple portraits

• Wedding-party photos

• Bridesmaid and groomsmen photos

• Some or all family portraits

before the ceremony even begins.

That can completely change the flow of your wedding day.

Instead of finishing the ceremony and immediately spending an hour taking photographs, we may only need a handful afterward.

Which means...

PRO: You Can Actually Enjoy Cocktail Hour

This is a BIG one.

You paid for cocktail hour too!

If we get the majority of your formal photographs finished before the ceremony, you may actually get to attend part—or even most—of it.

You can grab a drink.

Eat the appetizers you paid for.

Talk to your guests.

Actually enjoy the venue you've spent months planning.

Without a first look, cocktail hour often becomes our main portrait time.

There's nothing wrong with that! That's exactly how traditional wedding timelines have worked forever.

But if spending more time with your guests is important to you, a first look can help make that possible.

PRO: It Can Calm Your Nerves

I see this happen ALL the time.

Someone is nervous all morning.

They're pacing.

They're emotional.

They're asking what time it is every six minutes.

Then they see their person.

And suddenly...

They're fine.

Sometimes seeing each other before the ceremony takes away a huge amount of anxiety.

You're not walking into the ceremony wondering how they'll react.

You've already hugged them, talked to them, and had that moment together.

Now you get to go get married.

PRO: It Gives Us More Flexibility With Your Timeline

This is especially helpful for Minnesota weddings.

Our daylight changes dramatically depending on the time of year.

If you're having a winter wedding and your ceremony starts at 4:30 or 5 PM, we may not have daylight afterward.

A first look allows us to take advantage of the natural light earlier in the day.

It can also be helpful if your ceremony and reception are in different locations or if you have a large wedding party or family-photo list.

More time = less rushing.

And I'm ALWAYS a fan of less rushing on a wedding day.

CON: You Won't See Each Other for the First Time at the Aisle

This is the biggest reason couples choose not to have a first look.

And I completely understand it.

There's something incredibly special about standing at the end of the aisle and seeing your future spouse walking toward you.

If you've dreamed about that moment your entire life and the thought of seeing each other beforehand makes you sad...

Don't do a first look.

Seriously.

Photography should work around your wedding—not dictate it.

We can build a traditional timeline.

We'll do the photographs afterward.

And I'll be standing there ready to capture that reaction when you see each other for the first time.

CON: You'll Need to Be Ready Earlier

This is one couples don't always think about.

If we're doing a first look plus couple portraits, wedding-party photos, and family photographs before the ceremony, everyone needs to be completely ready earlier.

That means hair and makeup needs to finish earlier.

Your wedding party needs to be dressed.

Parents and family members included in photographs need to know when to arrive.

If you have a 4 PM ceremony, you can't still be finishing your makeup at 3:45 if we're planning two hours of photographs beforehand. 😂

We'll account for this when creating your timeline, but it is something to consider.

CON: A First Look Isn't Always Completely Private

I try to find somewhere private whenever possible.

But we're still at a wedding venue.

There may be vendors walking around.

A bridesmaid may accidentally wander outside.

Someone's uncle may appear out of absolutely nowhere.

It happens. 😂

If privacy is extremely important to you, tell your photographer ahead of time so we can choose the best location possible and ask your wedding party and family to give you some space.

"But What If They Don't Cry During the First Look?"

PLEASE don't judge your partner's love for you based on whether they cry.

I mean this with so much love. 😂

TikTok and Instagram have made dramatic first-look reactions seem like they're supposed to happen every single time.

They don't.

Some people cry.

Some people grin from ear to ear.

Some people laugh.

Some people hug their partner and don't want to let go.

And some people look completely calm while internally experiencing every emotion known to mankind.

Your partner doesn't have to fall to the ground sobbing for it to be a beautiful first look.

I want the real reaction.

Whatever that happens to be.

Will a First Look Ruin the Aisle Reaction?

This is probably the question I hear most.

And in my experience?

Usually, no.

Seeing each other privately and seeing your partner walking down the aisle are two completely different moments.

I've photographed couples who had an emotional first look and STILL cried during the ceremony.

Because suddenly the music is playing.

Everyone is standing.

Your family is there.

You're wearing your wedding dress.

And it hits differently.

A first look doesn't necessarily take that moment away.

But again, if you're worried that it will take something awayfor you, that's enough reason not to do one.

You Can Also Do Other First Looks

Your partner isn't your only option!

Even if you're keeping things traditional and don't want to see each other before the ceremony, you can still have a first look with:

Your dad or mom.
These can be some of the sweetest photographs from the entire day.

Your bridesmaids.
Have everyone get dressed, hide you away while you put your dress on, and then reveal the full look to your girls.

Your grandparents.
If you're close with them, this can be incredibly special.

Your children.
If you have kids, letting them see Mom or Dad completely wedding-ready for the first time can create some AMAZING reactions.

You can even do a first touch with your partner where you hold hands around a doorway or corner without actually seeing each other.

You can talk, exchange letters, pray together, or simply have a minute together while still saving the first time you SEE each other for the aisle.

So...Should You Have a First Look?

Here's how I usually break it down.

A first look might be perfect for you if:

You want a relaxed timeline.

You want most of your photographs finished before the ceremony.

You want to attend cocktail hour.

You're nervous and think seeing your partner would help.

You're having a later ceremony with limited daylight.

Or you simply love the idea of having that private moment together.

On the other hand, skip the first look if you've always dreamed about seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony.

That reason alone is enough.

There is no photography rule saying you need to have one.

My Job Is to Make Either Choice Work

As your wedding photographer, I'm not going to tell you that your wedding will be ruined if you don't have a first look.

It won't.

My job is to understand what's important to you and build the photography timeline around it.

If you want a first look, we'll find a beautiful location and make sure you have time to actually enjoy the moment.

If you don't want one, we'll plan enough time after your ceremony for the photographs you want.

And either way, I'm probably going to steal you away again when that gorgeous Minnesota sunset shows up. 😂

Because I'm definitely not giving up those photos.

Looking for a Minnesota Wedding Photographer?

Hughes Photo & Video LLC photographs weddings throughout Minnesota and beyond, offering both wedding photography and videography.

My photography style focuses ontrue-to-color editing, natural skin tones, genuine emotions, beautiful portraits, and all of the little moments that make your wedding yours.

Whether you're planning a beautiful Minnesota barn wedding, an outdoor celebration, a traditional church ceremony, or something completely different, I want your photography to fit your wedding—not the other way around.

Planning your Minnesota wedding? Reach out to Hughes Photo & Video LLC to check availability for your wedding date.